Why Is It So Hard to Love Some People?
You probably have someone in mind already. Maybe they irritate you. They repeatedly disappoint you. Perhaps they said something hurtful or simply make every interaction difficult.
Then Jesus says: “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34)
That’s when loving one another gets hard.
We Want Them to Change First
It’s easy to love people who treat us well. The real test comes when they don’t. We may quietly think:
- I’ll be kinder when they treat me better.
- I’ll forgive when they admit they were wrong.
- I’ll respond differently when they finally change.
Without realizing it, we’ve made our love dependent on their behavior.
Yet Jesus didn’t say, “Love one another when they deserve it.” He pointed us toward something much harder: love others as He has loved us. That requires grace.
Maybe Your Prayer Needs to Change
When someone is difficult, our natural prayer may be: God, please change them. Sometimes they certainly do need to change. But what if we also prayed: God, change how I respond to them. Give me patience when I’m irritated. Help me respond with kindness instead of anger. Show me where pride is influencing me. Help me forgive. Teach me to love more like Jesus.
Think of one relationship where loving someone has become difficult. For the next week, don’t make your prayer primarily about changing that person. Ask God to work in you. Then choose one deliberate act of patience, kindness, forgiveness, or engagement.
Keep your focus on your actions, not theirs. That’s where loving difficult people can begin.
Want to Go Deeper?
Prayers of Eternal Significance challenges us to move beyond prayers focused primarily on changing our circumstances or other people. It helps us pray for the deeper work God wants to accomplish within us. If you want your prayers to reshape how you love, forgive, and respond to others, this book can help you begin that prayer reset.
Until next time — get wisdom and pursue truth.
Blessings, Steve